One thing that almost stopped me from a productive
relationship with God was guilt. I was ashamed of the bad decisions I made in
life, hurts I put on people and my family, major setbacks I had caused myself
and my kids. I had lived a Godless life, not
making the right choice. I was not a very pleasant person to be around.
I knew that I reaped the harvest from the seed that I had sown. Guilt led to me
thinking that God would never forgive me. The feeling of guilt is very tricky,
it can make you feel condemn in life. It makes it hard to trust God because the
enemy has told you that you cannot be in God's presence.
Once I realized that he would forgive me, I begin to feel
like "well maybe I have to suffer before he can fully forgive me." I
could go to church and read the Bible, but I still felt like I was a tremendous
disappointment to God. No matter how much, I read about God forgiveness and
mercy, I felt like it was no way I could
be forgiven. Or if I was forgiven, I must have to suffer a season before my
blessings would start. I was a mess due to guilt and being ashamed. People
always bringing up the past does not make you feel any better. Guilt almost
made me miss out on the best life I could ever know. I felt too bad, or
unworthy to be in God’s presence. I felt like maybe he did not want me there
either.
When you meditate on guilt, it begins to build up all kinds
of strongholds. The guilt starts to manifest, and we dwell on our past, we then
start to look at ourselves as dirty, and worthless. All types of lies can start
to get implanted in our brain. Then the shame begins. The Bible speaks of
shame. That shame is a lie straight from satan. The shame keeps us from
approaching God with confidence, and the enemy knows that!
But GOD…..
There was no big revelation, or a moment that made me say
that I would no longer live in shame. It all came from studying Gods word and
many teachings of Pastors. I had to meditate on some scriptures and take a leap
of faith. I had to know that God loved me enough. I had to know that his word
was not void. When God says he is going to forgive us, he is going to do just
that! Jesus dying on the cross gave us that privilege. How life changing,
amazing is that!!! Most of all I had to know and really understand GRACE
& MERCY.
Grace and Mercy helped me get rid of guilt in a big way! The
two often seemed the same to me, but honestly I can say I did not do much
research on either. I had to learn it was Gods MERCY that kept me from being
punished for the sins I committed every single time, his GRACE was the
blessings (as simple as waking up in the morning) he provided me every day
despite that I was unworthy. When it comes to speaking about grace and mercy, I
get so excited and always shed tears of joy because I do not deserve any of it,
none of us do. We fail him, and we do it without thought. He does not owe any
of us a single thing, but he always comes through. Grace the unmerited favor we
continue to get. Amen. The mercy comes in because we know we do not deserve
anything, but we also deserve harsh punishment…Mercy keeps us from feeling the
wrath that we deserve. As excellent as mercy is, let’s not take it for granted,
because the Bible also speaks on reaping the harvest, of bad seeds sown. Mercy
is a gift to us every day, all day; however, we can feel the wrath of God if we
continue to ignore his goodness. I just went off topic, but I do not want
people to think, and live in Lala land thinking grace and mercy is a free
ticket to sin!! God knows the true intentions of the heart too.
In my case, I often felt like I deserved it. One area I
experienced a tremendous amount of guilt is when I was going through
depression, and I was not the mother I should have been for my children. I even
still feel that. However, I am in transition phase of my life, and I am
defeating guilt and shame. God has taught me how to overcome, by remembering
his words. How life changing and amazing.
You have been punished enough.
I do not allow my mind to go back to the past often. I have
no interest in the past and most people from it. I also do not allow anybody to
make me feel sorry about anything that I did. I have asked forgiveness from
people and God, of wrongdoings if they do not forgive me and move forward, I do
not care about it anymore. I will not allow people to make me feel bad. I do
not meditate on what went wrong. Now let’s be honest, it is only human nature
to think about the things that we may regret, especially if we have to live
with permanent consequences from bad choices. I am here to say that you are not
condemned to guilt forever. The Bible has told us that the first step is
personal confession and repentance. When you confess, you are humble and open,
during that time you need to accept it. I learned that once I accepted what I
had done, no one could use it against me ever again to feel any more guilt.
Truth is; people will be people. What I mean by that is our human nature will
cause us to be unforgiving and confrontational….people do not think on the same
scale as our Father Jehovah. So you must learn that you cannot expect a good
outcome all the time when you ask for forgiveness, BUT I am slightly off
subject!!!
Girlfriends, we have a purpose that God has called us for we
do not have to stay in the past of what we did. We may have sinned, but the sin
has been forgiven by God already. So what are we guilty of really? Nothing
anymore. Meditating on something that no longer exist is what causes us to
develop the shame. We then need to begin to meditate on the fact that we have
been delivered from our failures, the Bible clearly states that we can overcome.
If God has forgiven and forgotten, why are you still holding on to the
guilt?
And
I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins.”
(Hebrews 8:12 NLT)
Xoxo, Vita
“Guilt is a useless feeling.
It's never enough to make you change direction--only enough to make you
useless.” ― Daniel Nayeri,
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