Checking In!! Mental goodies...

 

 

 

 

Girlfriends!!

Hope all of you are having a wonderful week and most importantly a good start to the New Year. Seems like my circle of friends and associates have been having a powerful start! As they should too, they love the Lord and give him so much praise! Tonight's blog is nothing in my opinion that is so deep, or profound. I just kind of want to be candid and chat to my readers about myself and some lessons, I have learned along the way. Nevertheless, I always hope that my words inspire someone. Transparency is the hardest thing for me to be, on my new found walk towards my purpose. It is getting much easier every day. I enjoy sharing now. 

It's sad to me that sometimes as people we just have to be careful how much to share with people. I learn some conversations are left strictly between you and God. Truth is most people don't care and will throw stuff back in your face. They definitely won't keep things confidential. 

I just want you all to know, I am here if you ever need to vent or just a shoulder. I do not proclaim to have all the answers, but I will try my best to find out what I don't know.  

This is my life's purpose. I love what I do, and this is just thee VERY beginning. I use to wonder why God did I go through so many things in my life, could I just die to end it all? I remember feeling no reason for being, not even for my children. I figured they were better off without me anyway. Sad thing is some people even encouraged me to believe that.  

One of my good friends said to me one day that she couldn't understand why I was always getting hit so hard like bad luck followed me. I actually began to think I was a curse to myself and people. Satan had my mind so messed up smh! I would be in denial if I didn't say, I caused many screw ups in my life. I never meant anyone harm. 

Well, I am thankful and proud to say those days are behind me. That does not mean that trials will not come my direction. I just learn a better way of thinking and dealing with it all. I can handle my issues better and take full responsibility when things go wrong.  God never said I would not have trials, setbacks, disappointments, and pain.

 

 

 

I was gifted with the ability to love. I considered myself to be an overly sensitive person, BUT that is who I needed to be to fulfill my purpose in this world. I have the gift to help people overcome. Even with my help, ultimately it is up to the individual. In this life, you have to choose to eat or be eaten! I have experienced some terrible things in my life. Some are every bit of my fault; some were pain caused by others. I am 33 years old and have lived a life that most people couldn't survive. Some physical, some mental. I have always found it humorous when people think they know me. Truth is, there isn't a person walking the earth who know the very details of what I've been through...they only know the outcome as it began to spill over. I know one day I will have to share private details, but for now God knows I'm not ready. I adapted the victim mentality so well; this isn't a testimony of a victim anymore. I no longer feel the need for pity.  Occasionally, when I fall into my feelings, and yes it happens! I wonder why I am not legit locked up in a mental institution. Why didn't God just let me die so many times....I've said before, I was dying, and no one even knew. I don't think they even cared. 

God built me tough like a Chevy! I take a hit. Get right back up. I've been weak. Mind tormented. Through it all, even I'm the midst of confusion, there was a seed planted. I KNEW this was not life, I refused to believe it....so I never stop praying. Never stop seeking help. No one ever came to save me. I was drowning in despair. People have their problems and until something awful happens, no one will notice. Or they will judge. Or they will talk about you behind your back, and then you will hear...But God, he saved me. 

I also had to eliminate bad company. I had to learn to be alone, and dismiss the loneliness that I thought was killing me. Screw that feeling of being alone. You ever realize when you are keeping bad company, you still feel very much alone? 

It is some life changing truth to you attracting exactly the person that you are! I heard that before and did not want to accept that, I have even very recently told someone else that, and they refuse to receive it. I just plant the seed and allow people to grow at their pace. NOW, I have so many friends and associates that are like minded. I stopped long ago searching for the light and decided to become the light myself.  

If you are so fortunate to have a great circle of friends, then you understand the value that brings to your life. I feel like God's light is shining so bright directly on me. I feel like it took too long to get here. However, I refuse to dwell on it. I am just happy I am here. I am glad to help anyone who needs it.  I am still learning, and I am still a process.

Sometimes I still slip back into a depression, but usually it comes and goes. God has renewed my heart so well. He is working it out! I enjoy encouraging others and uplifting their spirits. I love being the one person anybody can lean on. I am honored people trust me so much; with the pain that torments them. My answers all go back to My Lord and Savior. If he can do it for me, no doubt he will do it for anybody. 

 

 

 

 

Need to talk? Vent? Or have any questions

Please contact me at: girlfriendsinpire@gmail.com

All email correspondence remain strictly confidential 

© JeVita Owens 2015 All Rights Reserved

But....did you pray?

But did you pray?

 

I have attended plenty of sermons, and teachings on prayer and trust me the entire praying message can get pretty deep. It should be deep. Prayer is our communication with the divine. Prayer has changed my life in so many ways that I could not even rescue myself from. This is not going to be a boring long drawn out blog about praying. This is my girlfriends perspective as if we were sitting face to face chatting it up! 

Prayer IS the solution.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. (Philippians 4:6 NLT)

Trust me on this one. Very briefly, I will describe what I though prayer should be, versus what God has revealed in my heart. I think this will be life changing for some people. The reason I feel this is important is because the message from this blog came to me early in the morning after a night of discussing many issues, with a dear friend of mines. I asked her “but…did you pray about it?” Then this morning after my prayer time and studying my Bible and devotionals, I read something about prayer. So I knew this needed my girlfriend's perspective. 

One thing I want us also to remember is; that when we do pray, God is going to handle the situation in his timing and his perfect way. Do not be discourage if answers to prayers go delayed, or even unanswered. If you prayers line up with Gods will, it shall be. Just like any parent, God is our father and sees the bigger picture, and he sees the future, so no you may not win the lottery for 500 million dollars because it is not good for you!! And maybe gambling and taking those risk are not the best option for your life either. I am just saying!

How I thought I was supposed to pray.

Growing up I attended prayer meetings, and they were powerful. Throughout the years, I felt like I had to pray for a certain amount of time, or I had to make sure I was crying, snotty, and speaking in tongues or my prayers were not valid. I thought that if I did not "tarry" for the Lord for hours then my prayers were not adequate. Basically, I felt a prayer had to be no less that an hour long. Now no one ever said that was so. I just thought that, because of the prayer meetings I attended as a child. Well, when I began to be on my own as an adult and wanted to search for God to help me. I could not get an hour prayer out. I just did not know what to say for an entire hour. I did not feel like I was in the spirit enough to speak in tongues. Realistically, I could not devote hours to prayer because I had small children that were demanding my time. So I stopped praying. I felt like I did not measure up anyway so what was the point? 

Pray without ceasing. (1 Thessalonians 5:17 KJV)

Believing that way was the biggest trick from Satan, I drew me further away from God and I just totally shut him out. It was not because I did not want to pray, I believed a lie. Well, I am here to tell you….NEVER STOP PRAYING!! 

God told me to Pray

One day a few years back, God began to minister to my heart from various sources, and I began to receive him more. He placed back in my heart the desire for prayer. He wanted me to study prayer and communicate with him regardless of how I "thought" because see the way "I" think is not in line with his perfect thoughts. He made it very clear that I could come to him and talk about anything. Instead of picking up the phone to whine and get advice. I could pray. I could speak to him just like I did my friends. The beautiful part about it was God could  resolve the problems. I mean let us just think about it for a minute; we sit on the phone for hours with our friends or family and cry our eyes out looking for advice on how to overcome. We barely listens to the advice, or we might even resent the advice. Nothing changes. We cannot do it, and other people cannot bring us the peace that God can. I started to talk to God about those problems so profound that I could not share with people. Even the simple problems that I could talk to people about I still go to God first in prayer. I  talk to God all day, and he speaks back to me with answers. God has become my friend. That is how we can begin building our prayer life. Talk to God like he is your friend…respectfully and humble, of course. 

How can I begin to build my prayer life?

Simple. Talk to God. I do not care who says you must pray for a certain amount of hours, or that your small prayers are not enough. You must do what you can, God sees your heart, and he sees the desire. People will always have their  perspective, and it is good to take advice but just like with most advice you can be inspired and still do what is truly best for you. True Story: In the beginning I talked to God about 15 minutes at a time all day! Every little step counts.

There are prayer instructions in the Bible that gives us guidelines on how to pray and what we should do. Refer to Matthew 6:9-13

Jesus gave us clear instruction on how to go along with a basic prayer of praise and acknowledgment. Never stop praying. Giving thanks and gratitude. Also, when you begin to pray, believe that what you pray for can be resolved. Prayer is pointless without faith. So as much as you think about it, pray about it.

(Let me be clear, I am not disregarding long prayer sessions when you are in need and the Holy Spirit takes over. I have those often, and I have spent hours in prayer when I needed to because my holy spirit just must have known what I needed. I have cried and pulled myself up off the floor. I remember one occasion I had to pull myself up out of the tub because what was going on in my life was that heavy. So yes, there will be times when we pray that it will get intense. Prayer is intense. This blog is speaking for those who are lost like I was with how to build an effective prayer life and making it work for you, always with Gods direction).

Why pray?

We pray for so many reasons. We pray for other people and their journey. We pray to communicate with God and show him how we adore him. We pray when we are sad. We should  pray when we are happy too.

God wants to hear from us. When I have been in tough situations and no matter how hard I searched for an answer, some inspiration, some guidance, some healing, or some relief I never fully got it. Through prayer and having faith I have been renewed. You can be renewed too. Give God a chance, and talk to him.

“We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties.” 

― Oswald Chambers

Need to talk? Vent? Or have any questions?

Please contact me at: girlfriendsinspire@gmail.com

All email correspondence remain strictly confidential

 

 

© JeVita Owens 2015 All Rights Reserved

Concrete Bloom: Loving yourself wholeheartedly and accepting your process.

"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy— the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light." ~Brene Brown

 

 

 Out from the concrete a beautiful Rose forms…….it is truly a miracle.

 

The domestic victim.
The mistreated.
The single parent.
The low self-worth
The depression.
The promiscuous.
The drug addict.
The orphan.
The terminal illness.
The abandon.
The displaced.

 I will stop here. All of this is heavy, concrete heavy. This list can go on, and I do not intend to leave anyone's personal situation out. It is all too heavy and the point of this blog is not to dwell on the issues. The focus is how we as women are gentle, beautiful flowers that carry the heaviness of a concrete slab. Even with the setbacks we still break through, rising flawless and powerful, and beautiful as God intended us to be!

 Loving yourself wholeheartedly is something I learned from Brene Brown! She had this to say about it:

 "Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging."

 

That was a clip from her book "The Gifts if Imperfections". Great read FYI !! I've added to my list or recommendations for my followers!

 

You can do this!

 That is if you want to.
Break through the foundations of the pain.
The setbacks.
The mistakes.
The bad choices.
Girlfriends you are valuable, worthy, capable, strong, and made to be victorious.

I know some days it is hard, it is heavy. I describe it as a weight on your chest. Can't breath sometimes. Pace your breaths and keep going. I'm not naïve to the issues that come along with life, especially when you have tried so hard and keep falling short. Trust, girlfriends I GET IT!

 The  pressure to have it all "together" all the time. The criticism from others if you fall short, or if some "thing" doesn't go as others perceive it should. Not once does anyone ever stop to think maybe this is just hard. The judgment of you brought this on yourself rings loud. Sometimes we are just our  worst enemy ( I admit this was me, often) Or what can I do to fix this? Or maybe if I act like I don't see what is going on, I just will not deal with it. So many scenarios, so many neglects. So, so many ways we stay under the concrete.

The world can leave you so bitter. It's real out here. It's up to you to decided to live.

How you choose to live is your choice alone. No judgment from me, and I do not accept a judgment from others. How I decide to live is my choice. Who said we would get it right every time, because we will not. Some of us just hide it better than others. Who said my pace of success and healing is the same as yours? Who says it is better? Begin to love yourself wholeheartedly, meaning your flaws and setbacks. Be kind and gentle with your process of improvement. Take your time, and believe God will work it out. 

I find it hilarious when people ask me how do I have it all together now? Or how is it that I can not let the pressure of the world get to me? Or my new favorite was ( and this was a malicious attack) Oh so now you little Ms. Perfection? 

All of the above couldn't be further from the truth. What  changed was a simple thing; the way I dealt with loving me wholeheartedly. Several prayers to God, therapy ( yes, not once but twice! And I LOVE it). Forgiveness, acceptance, responsibility, all played an enormous part. Being authentic and genuine was an important factor. People including myself are excellent at faking it. Everything is not alright, and that is ok. We put on this mask; then we lie to cover up when actually all hell is breaking lose. I did a LOT of covering up, and in my mind I wasn't lying. It was like this; I'll tell you what you need to know, everything else is "fine". Well, it was not. I did not realize that was okay. Be authentic and genuine every time, even if you do not feel like doing it. It helps the healing. A beautiful way of telling people to stay out your business is kindly reminding them to "count their blessings, not yours". I use that quite often these days :)

It was one simple thing that  to me, was not very simple at all. Letting go and believing in myself.

I personally  struggled with believing that my life could get better. I was doomed in my opinion, written off and miserable. At this point in my life, I had released the victim mentality but is still carried low self-worth, because no I had to be responsible for my life! How could I let all this happen? Why was I NOT strong enough?

Even with all the prayers and therapy, I still had some disconnects. I was  better, and I could feel an awakening in myself occurring. I did not realize then, that where I was at that moment in life was ok. I was going through my process, my timing, my journey. As long as I knew I was trying, and God knew what we discuss that was enough. I think back and wish I would have been kinder to myself. More patient and loving. See, girlfriends I was rushing, I wanted acceptance and approval, and  for someone to  validate that I was ok in life. But from whom? The truth is God is all that  matters, and he accepted me before, I ever existed!! AMEN. 

Concrete Bloom

 The decision to bloom into all you were meant to be is truly yours. However long that takes is not to be determined by anyone. I can't stress enough to be kind to yourself because you will not meet the mark often. Even as you grow to accept yourself wholeheartedly, there will just be days. Life just happens. How you spend your life and accept what happens is all on you. Your environment, success, failures, health, and relationships all are controlled by you, in every single circumstance you have a choice. I suggest  the best choice to make is the decision you can live with and accept whatever consequence that may occur. 

Live. Girlfriend, break out of that pain and bloom into the flower. I know many, many concrete roses. Stories were far more challenging that mines, however that doesn't discount my grief. It just inspired me that I can overcome. The decision was mine. I often say I stop searching for he light and decided to become one instead. That is precisely when my life changed for the better. I began to practice acceptance and love of myself first. Then I discovered my purpose ( that is another blog ). When I allowed God and the Holy Spirit to invade my life truly, I began to rediscover myself, and I started to dream and set goals. I found the woman that I was. I knew she was there. She got lost. My dreams and purpose have not only been implanted, with a renewed life I have energy and motivation to get up and put in work! And I don't mind working this hard to create my legacy, I don't mind dreaming bigger than I can ever imagine. Ask, believe, and received.

 

Overlooked, to overbooked.
Everything in my life I want for myself is to help other people and glorify God in the process. He planted that seed in me years ago, and now she had bloomed.

Not only am I a BEAUTIFUL flower, but I am a light to many people. I am a light to my children, even more important I am a light to myself. I accept myself, and that was my turning point of breaking through my concrete.

Now does everyone accept or believe that I have "changed" ( I don't like the word changed when referring to my process, because truthfully I am still me. I'm better, healed but still me and nothing is wrong with me)? Does everyone believe in my vision or goals? Am I accepted as a "light" now? Heck no. Difference between "then" and "now" is I have my  belief for my life. Being accepted, or rejected by anyone is not a factor for achieving my dream, it is no longer the moving force for my work. I do this because I love it, because I believe in me because I was destine for greatness. Now I know that, and I feel it. Christ strengthens me to continue keep moving onward. No one human on earth. 

So I challenge you today to bloom. What is it you love to do in life? What is holding you back? What makes you happy and smile? If you could be anything in the world what would it be? Why? Think about bad habits.

 

Self-defeating behaviors.

Say affirmations every day.
Pray.
Believe in yourself, believe you can break through.
And please be patient with yourself and kind to your process.

 

Learn to live wholeheartedly, accepting you! God already does. That's enough to build your life on!

Xoxo Elle Vita

 Questions? Concerns? Need to chat? or even vent? all emails are confidential.  Please contact me at: girlfriendsinspire@gmail.com