Concrete Bloom: Loving yourself wholeheartedly and accepting your process.

"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy— the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light." ~Brene Brown

 

 

 Out from the concrete a beautiful Rose forms…….it is truly a miracle.

 

The domestic victim.
The mistreated.
The single parent.
The low self-worth
The depression.
The promiscuous.
The drug addict.
The orphan.
The terminal illness.
The abandon.
The displaced.

 I will stop here. All of this is heavy, concrete heavy. This list can go on, and I do not intend to leave anyone's personal situation out. It is all too heavy and the point of this blog is not to dwell on the issues. The focus is how we as women are gentle, beautiful flowers that carry the heaviness of a concrete slab. Even with the setbacks we still break through, rising flawless and powerful, and beautiful as God intended us to be!

 Loving yourself wholeheartedly is something I learned from Brene Brown! She had this to say about it:

 "Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging."

 

That was a clip from her book "The Gifts if Imperfections". Great read FYI !! I've added to my list or recommendations for my followers!

 

You can do this!

 That is if you want to.
Break through the foundations of the pain.
The setbacks.
The mistakes.
The bad choices.
Girlfriends you are valuable, worthy, capable, strong, and made to be victorious.

I know some days it is hard, it is heavy. I describe it as a weight on your chest. Can't breath sometimes. Pace your breaths and keep going. I'm not naïve to the issues that come along with life, especially when you have tried so hard and keep falling short. Trust, girlfriends I GET IT!

 The  pressure to have it all "together" all the time. The criticism from others if you fall short, or if some "thing" doesn't go as others perceive it should. Not once does anyone ever stop to think maybe this is just hard. The judgment of you brought this on yourself rings loud. Sometimes we are just our  worst enemy ( I admit this was me, often) Or what can I do to fix this? Or maybe if I act like I don't see what is going on, I just will not deal with it. So many scenarios, so many neglects. So, so many ways we stay under the concrete.

The world can leave you so bitter. It's real out here. It's up to you to decided to live.

How you choose to live is your choice alone. No judgment from me, and I do not accept a judgment from others. How I decide to live is my choice. Who said we would get it right every time, because we will not. Some of us just hide it better than others. Who said my pace of success and healing is the same as yours? Who says it is better? Begin to love yourself wholeheartedly, meaning your flaws and setbacks. Be kind and gentle with your process of improvement. Take your time, and believe God will work it out. 

I find it hilarious when people ask me how do I have it all together now? Or how is it that I can not let the pressure of the world get to me? Or my new favorite was ( and this was a malicious attack) Oh so now you little Ms. Perfection? 

All of the above couldn't be further from the truth. What  changed was a simple thing; the way I dealt with loving me wholeheartedly. Several prayers to God, therapy ( yes, not once but twice! And I LOVE it). Forgiveness, acceptance, responsibility, all played an enormous part. Being authentic and genuine was an important factor. People including myself are excellent at faking it. Everything is not alright, and that is ok. We put on this mask; then we lie to cover up when actually all hell is breaking lose. I did a LOT of covering up, and in my mind I wasn't lying. It was like this; I'll tell you what you need to know, everything else is "fine". Well, it was not. I did not realize that was okay. Be authentic and genuine every time, even if you do not feel like doing it. It helps the healing. A beautiful way of telling people to stay out your business is kindly reminding them to "count their blessings, not yours". I use that quite often these days :)

It was one simple thing that  to me, was not very simple at all. Letting go and believing in myself.

I personally  struggled with believing that my life could get better. I was doomed in my opinion, written off and miserable. At this point in my life, I had released the victim mentality but is still carried low self-worth, because no I had to be responsible for my life! How could I let all this happen? Why was I NOT strong enough?

Even with all the prayers and therapy, I still had some disconnects. I was  better, and I could feel an awakening in myself occurring. I did not realize then, that where I was at that moment in life was ok. I was going through my process, my timing, my journey. As long as I knew I was trying, and God knew what we discuss that was enough. I think back and wish I would have been kinder to myself. More patient and loving. See, girlfriends I was rushing, I wanted acceptance and approval, and  for someone to  validate that I was ok in life. But from whom? The truth is God is all that  matters, and he accepted me before, I ever existed!! AMEN. 

Concrete Bloom

 The decision to bloom into all you were meant to be is truly yours. However long that takes is not to be determined by anyone. I can't stress enough to be kind to yourself because you will not meet the mark often. Even as you grow to accept yourself wholeheartedly, there will just be days. Life just happens. How you spend your life and accept what happens is all on you. Your environment, success, failures, health, and relationships all are controlled by you, in every single circumstance you have a choice. I suggest  the best choice to make is the decision you can live with and accept whatever consequence that may occur. 

Live. Girlfriend, break out of that pain and bloom into the flower. I know many, many concrete roses. Stories were far more challenging that mines, however that doesn't discount my grief. It just inspired me that I can overcome. The decision was mine. I often say I stop searching for he light and decided to become one instead. That is precisely when my life changed for the better. I began to practice acceptance and love of myself first. Then I discovered my purpose ( that is another blog ). When I allowed God and the Holy Spirit to invade my life truly, I began to rediscover myself, and I started to dream and set goals. I found the woman that I was. I knew she was there. She got lost. My dreams and purpose have not only been implanted, with a renewed life I have energy and motivation to get up and put in work! And I don't mind working this hard to create my legacy, I don't mind dreaming bigger than I can ever imagine. Ask, believe, and received.

 

Overlooked, to overbooked.
Everything in my life I want for myself is to help other people and glorify God in the process. He planted that seed in me years ago, and now she had bloomed.

Not only am I a BEAUTIFUL flower, but I am a light to many people. I am a light to my children, even more important I am a light to myself. I accept myself, and that was my turning point of breaking through my concrete.

Now does everyone accept or believe that I have "changed" ( I don't like the word changed when referring to my process, because truthfully I am still me. I'm better, healed but still me and nothing is wrong with me)? Does everyone believe in my vision or goals? Am I accepted as a "light" now? Heck no. Difference between "then" and "now" is I have my  belief for my life. Being accepted, or rejected by anyone is not a factor for achieving my dream, it is no longer the moving force for my work. I do this because I love it, because I believe in me because I was destine for greatness. Now I know that, and I feel it. Christ strengthens me to continue keep moving onward. No one human on earth. 

So I challenge you today to bloom. What is it you love to do in life? What is holding you back? What makes you happy and smile? If you could be anything in the world what would it be? Why? Think about bad habits.

 

Self-defeating behaviors.

Say affirmations every day.
Pray.
Believe in yourself, believe you can break through.
And please be patient with yourself and kind to your process.

 

Learn to live wholeheartedly, accepting you! God already does. That's enough to build your life on!

Xoxo Elle Vita

 Questions? Concerns? Need to chat? or even vent? all emails are confidential.  Please contact me at: girlfriendsinspire@gmail.com