My Life Changing Relationship

 

 

 

"The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become because he made us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be…. It is when I turn to Christ when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own." ~C.S. Lewis

 It has been entirely too long since I have written a post on this blog. Had to take a halt due to, So many life changing adjustments and accomplishments. This writing situation is still new to me, as I begin to live boldly and chase a dream that I had hidden. This month I finally finished College, which is such an amazing accomplishment for me! When I started this blog, I had no idea how many people would grow to love it so fast. I am so thankful for all my readers; my mom told me the other day that I need to hurry up and post because I cannot leave everyone hanging on waiting! She is so right. During these past months, I also began to work on my relationship with God. Growing closer to God, I learned some valuable lesson, and I feel so free and peaceful. I also learned that the enemy will move strategically to stop me, I have to make sure that I have my full armor on like the book of Ephesians teaches us to. The relationship that I have with God now has totally changed my life. I have known God all my life, but I did not have a relationship with him. I have always known what I called the basics; the Ten Commandments, he died for my sin, he loves me…all of those things. I was not living it, and even when I tried to live it I did not focus on him. The only focus I had was on the problems and issues that were in my life at that time.

EVERYTHING I know about him he is teaching me in the exact way I need to learn.  This relationship actually keeps me happy, and sane when the entire world is jumping on my nerve. I and My God are connected and that is what a relationship is; when two or more people are connected! It is not religion and chants. We sit and we enjoy the company of each other. I know he will never require me to be anything that I am not, and nothing I do in this world can make him stop ever loving me.

 

I have a Confession; now that I am able to have this renewed relationship with the father, I am able to have successful relationships with other people. I am a person that can enjoy healthy relationships, but I am also a person that people actually want to be around. Sadly, misery loves company and in a previous season of my life I truly was a miserable woman. I know some people may shake their heads at that, but it is my truth. I had some connections, but most of them were formed out of codependency.  Codependent relationships are when you attach yourself to another human being and it becomes a very unhealthy existence for all parties involved. I just had to have someone around because the thought of loneliness was too much for me to deal with. (I will come back on the LOVELY part of being alone later) I would take just any type of treatment so that the other person would not leave. I allowed myself to be abused verbally and physically, yep! I allowed people to use me, and to make me feel less than I was. Satan had a great time making me think I was worthless. I think back at this now and I still get sad that I allowed such people in my life and that I allowed this to manifest into truth. I grew tired of those types of relationships, the final straw was losing everything due to an emotional breakdown. I grew tired of people using me up and walking away. I guess now I can thank them because it allowed me to run into my father’s arms. Now I will never leave, the love is too good.

OH!! That feeling of being "lonely" that scared me so bad? That was necessary so that he can work on me, and that I could hear him without distraction. The more I grew closer to him those lonely days seem filled. I will not say there aren't times when I still would like companionship. It is a priority that I have the "right" companionship.

Many people believe before they come to God they have to be a certain way, they must pray or dress a particular way. Lies. They feel like the Bible is boring and prayer does not work.  I can truly understand that feeling. I say….who says you have to learn the Bible a particular type of way? My studies came from devotionals, and reading spiritual books and just listening. The more I read and let it manifest, the more I desired it. That will happen for anyone, I can guarantee it! As far as prayer is concerned, who says a simple prayer is not enough? I literally pray throughout the day. The more you pray about connecting with Gods vision, the other stuff will come naturally. It is many reasons WHY people feel they cannot develop a relationship with God. Then some people just have not had enough of their sinful nature; that was me. I didn't have enough. However, I knew the life I was living was not how I was supposed to live. So I just told God the truth. My prayer was something like this:

"God, I see how other people in the church seem to be excited and in love with everything about you. I know what the word says, but I do not feel that way about you. I am truly ashamed, but I know you can help me. Help me to not be fearful of loving you, and living for you. I have certain things in my life as you know that I do not want to let go. These things bring me comfort, I enjoy them because truthfully nothing else in life is going right. Help me to know your love, help me to find peace in joy and get excited. Help me to know you so I can trust you. I do not know how long my journey will be, but I trust you indefinitely with helping me."

 

Seriously, that was like a ton of bricks lifted off my shoulder and immediately my life changed. It was not that I stopped doing certain things or fell totally in love with Christ overnight. I begin to crave him, he also began to show me how wonderful he has always been. It was like my eyes were open. This is a relationship that will save your life. The things I found comfort in, no longer were comfortable. My entire surrounding began to change, I began to lose everything that was a comfort zone that served him no purpose. Glory!

I am excited. When I feel lousy, I am still excited because I know that emotions are not ruling me, I feel it then it is gone. God is going to take care of every aspect of my life. He does not even need my help one bit. I surrender!!

 

Much Love, Xoxo

Elle Vita

 

 

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