Concrete Bloom: Loving yourself wholeheartedly and accepting your process.

"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy— the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light." ~Brene Brown

 

 

 Out from the concrete a beautiful Rose forms…….it is truly a miracle.

 

The domestic victim.
The mistreated.
The single parent.
The low self-worth
The depression.
The promiscuous.
The drug addict.
The orphan.
The terminal illness.
The abandon.
The displaced.

 I will stop here. All of this is heavy, concrete heavy. This list can go on, and I do not intend to leave anyone's personal situation out. It is all too heavy and the point of this blog is not to dwell on the issues. The focus is how we as women are gentle, beautiful flowers that carry the heaviness of a concrete slab. Even with the setbacks we still break through, rising flawless and powerful, and beautiful as God intended us to be!

 Loving yourself wholeheartedly is something I learned from Brene Brown! She had this to say about it:

 "Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging."

 

That was a clip from her book "The Gifts if Imperfections". Great read FYI !! I've added to my list or recommendations for my followers!

 

You can do this!

 That is if you want to.
Break through the foundations of the pain.
The setbacks.
The mistakes.
The bad choices.
Girlfriends you are valuable, worthy, capable, strong, and made to be victorious.

I know some days it is hard, it is heavy. I describe it as a weight on your chest. Can't breath sometimes. Pace your breaths and keep going. I'm not naïve to the issues that come along with life, especially when you have tried so hard and keep falling short. Trust, girlfriends I GET IT!

 The  pressure to have it all "together" all the time. The criticism from others if you fall short, or if some "thing" doesn't go as others perceive it should. Not once does anyone ever stop to think maybe this is just hard. The judgment of you brought this on yourself rings loud. Sometimes we are just our  worst enemy ( I admit this was me, often) Or what can I do to fix this? Or maybe if I act like I don't see what is going on, I just will not deal with it. So many scenarios, so many neglects. So, so many ways we stay under the concrete.

The world can leave you so bitter. It's real out here. It's up to you to decided to live.

How you choose to live is your choice alone. No judgment from me, and I do not accept a judgment from others. How I decide to live is my choice. Who said we would get it right every time, because we will not. Some of us just hide it better than others. Who said my pace of success and healing is the same as yours? Who says it is better? Begin to love yourself wholeheartedly, meaning your flaws and setbacks. Be kind and gentle with your process of improvement. Take your time, and believe God will work it out. 

I find it hilarious when people ask me how do I have it all together now? Or how is it that I can not let the pressure of the world get to me? Or my new favorite was ( and this was a malicious attack) Oh so now you little Ms. Perfection? 

All of the above couldn't be further from the truth. What  changed was a simple thing; the way I dealt with loving me wholeheartedly. Several prayers to God, therapy ( yes, not once but twice! And I LOVE it). Forgiveness, acceptance, responsibility, all played an enormous part. Being authentic and genuine was an important factor. People including myself are excellent at faking it. Everything is not alright, and that is ok. We put on this mask; then we lie to cover up when actually all hell is breaking lose. I did a LOT of covering up, and in my mind I wasn't lying. It was like this; I'll tell you what you need to know, everything else is "fine". Well, it was not. I did not realize that was okay. Be authentic and genuine every time, even if you do not feel like doing it. It helps the healing. A beautiful way of telling people to stay out your business is kindly reminding them to "count their blessings, not yours". I use that quite often these days :)

It was one simple thing that  to me, was not very simple at all. Letting go and believing in myself.

I personally  struggled with believing that my life could get better. I was doomed in my opinion, written off and miserable. At this point in my life, I had released the victim mentality but is still carried low self-worth, because no I had to be responsible for my life! How could I let all this happen? Why was I NOT strong enough?

Even with all the prayers and therapy, I still had some disconnects. I was  better, and I could feel an awakening in myself occurring. I did not realize then, that where I was at that moment in life was ok. I was going through my process, my timing, my journey. As long as I knew I was trying, and God knew what we discuss that was enough. I think back and wish I would have been kinder to myself. More patient and loving. See, girlfriends I was rushing, I wanted acceptance and approval, and  for someone to  validate that I was ok in life. But from whom? The truth is God is all that  matters, and he accepted me before, I ever existed!! AMEN. 

Concrete Bloom

 The decision to bloom into all you were meant to be is truly yours. However long that takes is not to be determined by anyone. I can't stress enough to be kind to yourself because you will not meet the mark often. Even as you grow to accept yourself wholeheartedly, there will just be days. Life just happens. How you spend your life and accept what happens is all on you. Your environment, success, failures, health, and relationships all are controlled by you, in every single circumstance you have a choice. I suggest  the best choice to make is the decision you can live with and accept whatever consequence that may occur. 

Live. Girlfriend, break out of that pain and bloom into the flower. I know many, many concrete roses. Stories were far more challenging that mines, however that doesn't discount my grief. It just inspired me that I can overcome. The decision was mine. I often say I stop searching for he light and decided to become one instead. That is precisely when my life changed for the better. I began to practice acceptance and love of myself first. Then I discovered my purpose ( that is another blog ). When I allowed God and the Holy Spirit to invade my life truly, I began to rediscover myself, and I started to dream and set goals. I found the woman that I was. I knew she was there. She got lost. My dreams and purpose have not only been implanted, with a renewed life I have energy and motivation to get up and put in work! And I don't mind working this hard to create my legacy, I don't mind dreaming bigger than I can ever imagine. Ask, believe, and received.

 

Overlooked, to overbooked.
Everything in my life I want for myself is to help other people and glorify God in the process. He planted that seed in me years ago, and now she had bloomed.

Not only am I a BEAUTIFUL flower, but I am a light to many people. I am a light to my children, even more important I am a light to myself. I accept myself, and that was my turning point of breaking through my concrete.

Now does everyone accept or believe that I have "changed" ( I don't like the word changed when referring to my process, because truthfully I am still me. I'm better, healed but still me and nothing is wrong with me)? Does everyone believe in my vision or goals? Am I accepted as a "light" now? Heck no. Difference between "then" and "now" is I have my  belief for my life. Being accepted, or rejected by anyone is not a factor for achieving my dream, it is no longer the moving force for my work. I do this because I love it, because I believe in me because I was destine for greatness. Now I know that, and I feel it. Christ strengthens me to continue keep moving onward. No one human on earth. 

So I challenge you today to bloom. What is it you love to do in life? What is holding you back? What makes you happy and smile? If you could be anything in the world what would it be? Why? Think about bad habits.

 

Self-defeating behaviors.

Say affirmations every day.
Pray.
Believe in yourself, believe you can break through.
And please be patient with yourself and kind to your process.

 

Learn to live wholeheartedly, accepting you! God already does. That's enough to build your life on!

Xoxo Elle Vita

 Questions? Concerns? Need to chat? or even vent? all emails are confidential.  Please contact me at: girlfriendsinspire@gmail.com

Sunday Reflections

I never use to understand how much peace I could have simply by running to my safe place.

My safe place is and remains with God. And only God.

I remember watching other people at church or even friends be so fired up for God, so in tuned and they knew scripture and they seemed so sure that this was the only way for peace! 

I remember asking God, "why don't I feel that way about you?" I remember even forcing it, but always fell short because my heart wasn't right.

So I prayed because I knew this was where my safe place was, but I hadn't received it. I wanted it to be genuine and pure. 100% all about God.

Prayer changes everything. I prayed without ceasing. I studied even when I didn't feel like it. The more I studied the Bible, I craved it. The more I prayed to fall in love with him, my heart opened up.

When this world gets the best of me, and I feel like i am boiling over. I go hide in him. He is the safest place on earth❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Elle Vita, goodnight all!😘

Celebrating a Legend M.L.K.

I cannot let this day go by without expressing what it means to me and how grateful I am for Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

What I love most about Dr. King is his message of love, he was a believer that LOVE heals everything. That love could make the world a better place for us all. That violence never solves anything, and we should seek love.

I am here for that message.

 

Many people cannot understand how during a time where African Americans were so abused and mistreated, how could Dr. King speak of non-violence. Like seriously we are suffering out here. I understand that feeling. I cannot even imagine what people, who have to suffer, were going through just to do what I have a privilege of every day. Racism is disgusting in my mind, any form of it. People couldn't understand why Dr. King said turn the other cheek. Keep on praying, loving and believing.

I know why.

Dr. King was following God’s message. One of his quotes that I love -------> "I just want to do Gods will". That is what it is all about. Performing Gods will and living for his purpose. Dr. King walked in his purpose, and I am forever grateful because it allowed my voice to be heard. It allowed me to educate myself. My children can be free to come and go as they please and are given the same rights. I am able to sit here and write this and publish it without being abused, mistreated, lynch…

Yes! Dr. King fought for the civil rights of African Americans, but his bigger message was LOVE. He loved all races, and he wanted for us all to be able to dwell together. That is exactly what we can do now. I have friends and associates from every walk of life. I wouldn't have it any other way! My message is the same as his, as many, many of my peers. I understand what love can do. I understand how important it is. I know God is love.

Dr. King,

You message, time, and legacy did not go in vain. I celebrate you today for fighting for my rights before I ever existed. It is an honor and a blessing to be able to sit here today and acknowledge you. I celebrate your life that was gone too soon. I celebrate your life because you died for me to be able to have the same privilege as everyone else. You experience torture because you believe that Gods word was true. You loved your enemies even though they lied, beat, jailed and came up against you in every way possible. The devil can never win, because now we celebrate you in America. An America that did not want to give you an opportunity.God’s love still wins. I know God, and the Angels are taking care of you. Rest in Peace Dr. King. #salute 

Elle Vita

Move

Move

 

 

"Replaying a painful memory over and over in your head is a form of self abuse. Toxic thoughts create a toxic body. So make peace with yourself and your past. Heal your thoughts and you heal yourself."~ Jerose

Girlfriends,

I remember not quite understanding how to continue my life. I was stuck in the past dwelling in the devastations of situations that had long passed by. It was destroying me!

A turning point in my life was when someone told me to “get over it”. I remember thinking to myself, “well it hurts so badly, and it is NOT fair!" I can remember thinking…I cannot believe she said that to me. GET OVER IT. “Well, I can't, and this just hurts too bad, and they should not have done that to me.” They should pay, and I want them to have bad things happen to them! 

Well, guess what? Life went on. Those people or situations, that hurt so bad, moved on too. I was determined to stay in the past because it was not fair. I did not do anything to deserve it. Can you guess what happened? I lived a miserable, hurtful, unproductive, sad life. I suffered from depression, being overweight and very unhealthy. Extremely negative and mean. I was pitiful. ( I can't dwell on that because, its death. That is the past, but I felt the need to share). 

(Sometimes, it is hard for me to be transparent because I am such a private person. The wrong choices, I made, are sometimes too embarrassing to me, or I feel inferior. Guess what I am not alone, and neither are you!! God makes it very clear how much to reveal right now and how much to keep. Right now, someone needs to hear how my life was a disaster because I was existing and not living. So I decided to move.)

Move from the past. Everything, that happened, was unfair, it wasn't my fault but it is my responsibility to grab control of my life. No one was going to hold my hand, nor could they force me to live. If I wanted more for me and my kids; I had to do the work. The work was not and still is not easy. However, it comes a time when you have to make the decision basically to live or die. There were plenty of people that prayed for me.

<<Let me stop here and say….Praise God that people never stop praying for me, I believe that it was prayer that kept me strong, and determine to move finally. So, when someone requests me to pray for them, I take that serious because it was prayer that saved me. I know in my spirit. I was determined to waste away. Because everything hurt too badly, and the people did not care. I was mad.>>

 

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, (Philippians 3:13 NLT)"

We all go through trials and turbulence. That is certain in this life, and honestly it is going to hurt you to the core. It is going to shake your world. It can also help you grow to the next phase. I run into people all the time stuck in the past. Well let me be the first to say to anyone dwelling on past pain, you need to get over it.

Allow yourself to go through the motions that are natural. Cry it out and pray to God, and let him know that your spirit is bothered. You are hurting. Truth is girlfriends; you are hurting yourself even more because you will not let go, and move. Move goes hand to hand with forgiveness. These things are not easy, and it takes work to you, and prayer, and studying God's word. It breaks my heart to see people that are in a stagnant position in life and can't let go of what went wrong. The truth is; a lot is going to always going to go wrong in this world. You have to gain the strength that only God can provide to be determined to move. It is a mind situation; you have to be strong enough to say “no more." It is even sadder to see someone who is so determined to not forgive, and refuse to make a move, and that keeps them stuck. Those people have decided that staying in the pain is easier than moving forward and regaining their life and peace. It is hard to watch.

Truth is the past  not going to change ever. You have to take responsibility for your  happiness. If we continue to crowd our brains with the negative and do not move on, it leaves no room for the good things we deserve. 

Let me give you some tips that helped me to move.

1.       No expectations on anyone. Expectation keeps us hurt; we expected people to be loyal and faithful. We expected parents to love and protect and provide. We expected, and that was the wrong choice. Now I never knew that I should not expect anything from a person. Well….I learned. Expectations are predetermined opinions and beliefs of what we feel people should be, or how a situation should turn out. Free your mind and live in the present. It is only God who doesn't change. People always will change depending the way the wind blows!

2.       Love people for who they are. You know I had to learn first truly, what love was in all forms. Then I had to learn how to love people truly. I had to realize the people who attacked me and mistreated me, did so because they have their  issues. When you are at peace with yourself, you do not have time to tear people down and hurt them. Now just because you need to love people does not mean you have to be subject to their abusive ways. NEVER!! Sometimes you have to love a family member or associate from a distance. Love them and do not expect anything.

3.       Forgiveness for yourself and forgiveness for others. Forgiving does not mean that you are weak, as a matter of fact, it is a very high act to forgive. Grace and Mercy are what God offers us every day, and others do deserve ours as well. We forgive because we are forgiven. We forgive to move. To say that this happened, I am over it and the situation. Now let me live the very best life I deserve.

4.       I decided to focus on the present. I refused to continue to live in an event that could never be changed. I have to continue my life despite the bad things that happen I have to move. When you focus on the present day it actually opens you up to being able to move. Who has time to visit the past? Stop telling the story, living in that moment that has passed. Move. 

5.       I stopped being the pitiful victim and blaming other people < --------------THIS is a imperative part of the move process. Ok, check it…maybe you were victimized, and as a result life was difficult. At some point, choices, you made, were your own. Nobody knows better than I that hurt can affect you. It will make you unconsciously make wrong decisions. That is when you have to take control and grow from it. When we play the victim or place the blame it feels good. We are winning. The truth is who actually cares? This is a large world and what I have learned is people will only feel sorry for you for a short while. After that you are just getting on their nerves. 

6.       God. God is  the first step in this process. I do not have to express the need for prayer, meditation, reading the Bible and more prayer. All the strength, that I got, came from God. The more you spend time searching for him, the more you crave it, and he restores the pain to joy. 

7.       Write. I wrote the pain away. Writing may not be your thing, but some  other hobbies maybe. Focus on pursuing your dreams and what makes you happy. Move into it!

The conclusion! I did not want to be a victim, bitter, unhappy, and careless. I did not want those things to be my identity. I always knew I deserved more. You deserve more, being God's children we deserve more. We can have more.

The next few sentences may sound harsh, but if it shakes you then good. I am also speaking to myself, let us not be fooled I am still a work in progress, captured by grace and mercy!

Here goes: We need to stop complaining about what has happened. We need to stop immediately being stuck in the past. We need to stop with the pity party because it is very unattractive and self-defeating. If you want to heal, make a decision to do so. If you do not choose to improve, then you have no one to blame but your  self. You will remain miserable while others around you live. Life will pass you by. Jesus was tortured, and he was perfect, like who are you? Who am I? He died so that we can live. If you want to continue the same habits, excellent. But don't cry to anyone when they ask how life is treating you.

Girlfriends, I was not trying to be mean at all. Sometimes the truth is not pleasant. The truth IS always necessary. Add a dose of Love to the mix, and you can receive it better.

When I sat down to write this blog, in my heart I prayed that my words will be heard. The reason, it is so important to me, is because I do have a desire to help people through their healing process. The best way I can do that is with guidance from the Holy Spirit, and being real and transparent on some topics.

Hopefully, you are encouraged, or led to support someone. Move. Today and do not hesitate to live the best life God has to offer.

Until next time,

Xoxo, Elle Vita

What did 2014 bring you?

Happy New Year Girlfriends! 

2014 (exhales)

You ever felt like something good was going to happen? It just drops in your spirit? Well I felt that early 2014, but I knew a storm was first.

 2014 was an entire faith walk. Everything that happened was meant to stress me, kill me, and make me fall in despair. 

2014 I realized how strong I was. I realized how much God will take care of me, when everybody turns their back, I learned what favor I have in his eyes. How he adores me.

2014 I fell in love with God. Not like most people just say, I fell deep, desiring him, loving him, praying , and yearning to walk more in obedience. Because what I learned was, he takes care of me entirely. I can trust him, and he can fix my life. 

2014 I had courage to make my dreams come true. Some days I feel like I'm crazy with passion for my writing and the thought of publishing books, and being a award winning writer. I really think some days, the dream is too far fetched. Like why would anyone read something I have to say? Then I hear GODs voice telling me to be patient, to continue doing what I am doing, and in the perfect time, he will put it all in place…I just have to believe and do the work…onward.

2014 I made positive connections, that will forever change the course of my life for the better.

2014 I begin to fall in love with "me" knowing my worth, and not allowing anybody to convince me otherwise, anymore. To let go of most of my pain (2015 this will all be gone). Knowing I'm human and I will forever make mistakes, but I'm forgiven and fall under Gods undeserving GRACE and MERCY. *insert praise*

2014 I learned that when seasons are up to let people go. How to be okay with things ending, I lost long time friendships, because I recognize as I grew, that this relationship did not ever have healthy foundations. Some people are on different waves. 

2014 I learned how to submerge myself in positivity, and how that will save my mental. I knew how important this was, but I learned how to aggressively attack negativity.

2014 I learned the importance of alone time. It's very important and very necessary.

I really could go on. See I didn't receive any material blessings, I didn't want for anything! But I remember there was a time where I felt like material things defined my status in life. I had less than many so I felt inferior. When I begin to acquire material things throughout the years, I still was struggling. Still very unhappy.

What I acquired in 2014 was priceless, and it is going to hold me forever, so that I can have peace for the rest of my life, however long that is. I'm thankful, many people on the outside looking in would see my struggle for 2014. They have no idea how 2014 has forever change the course of my life for the better.

 

2015 is about to be something! I can't wait, my mind is focused, my God is on my side. Later I'll post what I will accomplish this year….i want you all to be well, stay encouraged, and dig deep. You may have learned more than you know in 2014. Sometimes it's not what we receive but it's the lesson learned that is valuable. Think on that! 

Xoxo, ElleVita

Guilt. You been punished enough. Move forward.

"Guilt is a destructive and ultimately pointless emotion" ― Lynn Crilly

 

Girlfriends,

Guilt is the horrible feeling of shame and failure in our hearts! It is nothing more crippling in your life than living in shame!! Being sorry all the time and every day!! ACK!! I listen to a lot of people talk, and it seems like a common denominator is feeling sorry for things from the past. Someone I know suffered from a major anger issue, and I flat out asked him. "What are you afraid of?" I asked him this because as we know anger is the root of fear. He told me that he was angry because of the way his life had turned out and that he was living with making some wrong decisions. He was afraid and feeling guilty about decision that he made. We can all relate to that in some form. I know I can. He was so mad at his  actions, but it radiated out to other people. 

One thing that almost stopped me from a productive relationship with God was guilt. I was ashamed of the bad decisions I made in life, hurts I put on people and my family, major setbacks I had caused myself and my kids. I had lived a Godless life, not  making the right choice. I was not a very pleasant person to be around. I knew that I reaped the harvest from the seed that I had sown. Guilt led to me thinking that God would never forgive me. The feeling of guilt is very tricky, it can make you feel condemn in life. It makes it hard to trust God because the enemy has told you that you cannot be in God's presence. 

Once I realized that he would forgive me, I begin to feel like "well maybe I have to suffer before he can fully forgive me." I could go to church and read the Bible, but I still felt like I was a tremendous disappointment to God. No matter how much, I read about God forgiveness and mercy, I  felt like it was no way I could be forgiven. Or if I was forgiven, I must have to suffer a season before my blessings would start. I was a mess due to guilt and being ashamed. People always bringing up the past does not make you feel any better. Guilt almost made me miss out on the best life I could ever know. I felt too bad, or unworthy to be in God’s presence. I felt like maybe he did not want me there either. 

When you meditate on guilt, it begins to build up all kinds of strongholds. The guilt starts to manifest, and we dwell on our past, we then start to look at ourselves as dirty, and worthless. All types of lies can start to get implanted in our brain. Then the shame begins. The Bible speaks of shame. That shame is a lie straight from satan. The shame keeps us from approaching God with confidence, and the enemy knows that!

But GOD…..

There was no big revelation, or a moment that made me say that I would no longer live in shame. It all came from studying Gods word and many teachings of Pastors. I had to meditate on some scriptures and take a leap of faith. I had to know that God loved me enough. I had to know that his word was not void. When God says he is going to forgive us, he is going to do just that! Jesus dying on the cross gave us that privilege. How life changing, amazing is that!!! Most of all I had to know and really understand GRACE & MERCY. 

Grace and Mercy helped me get rid of guilt in a big way! The two often seemed the same to me, but honestly I can say I did not do much research on either. I had to learn it was Gods MERCY that kept me from being punished for the sins I committed every single time, his GRACE was the blessings (as simple as waking up in the morning) he provided me every day despite that I was unworthy. When it comes to speaking about grace and mercy, I get so excited and always shed tears of joy because I do not deserve any of it, none of us do. We fail him, and we do it without thought. He does not owe any of us a single thing, but he always comes through. Grace the unmerited favor we continue to get. Amen. The mercy comes in because we know we do not deserve anything, but we also deserve harsh punishment…Mercy keeps us from feeling the wrath that we deserve. As excellent as mercy is, let’s not take it for granted, because the Bible also speaks on reaping the harvest, of bad seeds sown. Mercy is a gift to us every day, all day; however, we can feel the wrath of God if we continue to ignore his goodness. I just went off topic, but I do not want people to think, and live in Lala land thinking grace and mercy is a free ticket to sin!! God knows the true intentions of the heart too.

In my case, I often felt like I deserved it. One area I experienced a tremendous amount of guilt is when I was going through depression, and I was not the mother I should have been for my children. I even still feel that. However, I am in transition phase of my life, and I am defeating guilt and shame. God has taught me how to overcome, by remembering his words. How life changing and amazing. 

You have been punished enough.

I do not allow my mind to go back to the past often. I have no interest in the past and most people from it. I also do not allow anybody to make me feel sorry about anything that I did. I have asked forgiveness from people and God, of wrongdoings if they do not forgive me and move forward, I do not care about it anymore. I will not allow people to make me feel bad. I do not meditate on what went wrong. Now let’s be honest, it is only human nature to think about the things that we may regret, especially if we have to live with permanent consequences from bad choices. I am here to say that you are not condemned to guilt forever. The Bible has told us that the first step is personal confession and repentance. When you confess, you are humble and open, during that time you need to accept it. I learned that once I accepted what I had done, no one could use it against me ever again to feel any more guilt. Truth is; people will be people. What I mean by that is our human nature will cause us to be unforgiving and confrontational….people do not think on the same scale as our Father Jehovah. So you must learn that you cannot expect a good outcome all the time when you ask for forgiveness, BUT I am slightly off subject!!!

Girlfriends, we have a purpose that God has called us for we do not have to stay in the past of what we did. We may have sinned, but the sin has been forgiven by God already. So what are we guilty of really? Nothing anymore. Meditating on something that no longer exist is what causes us to develop the shame. We then need to begin to meditate on the fact that we have been delivered from our failures, the Bible clearly states that we can overcome. If God has forgiven and forgotten, why are you still holding on to the guilt? 

And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins.” (Hebrews 8:12 NLT)

 I challenge you today to free yourself from guilt and shame. The devil is a liar; the Bible tells us he has come to seek and destroy. Do not allow him. Not to mention his lies. Who believes a liar anyway? Bad feelings of shame did not come from God, he would not torture you!! So today again, I say choose to believe your truth! You are forgiven!!

Accept that!

Xoxo, Vita

“Guilt is a useless feeling. It's never enough to make you change direction--only enough to make you useless.” ― Daniel Nayeri,

Pack Light!

Bag lady you gone hurt your back

Dragging all them bags like that

I guess nobody ever told you

All you must hold on to

Is you, is you, is you 

 

 

Erykah Badu had a song out a few years ago called "Bag Lady." When this song came out, I was young, so I did not , fully understand the concept of what Ms. Badu was talking about. I love her music, so for me it was a catchy tune! Fast forward to adulthood and the song not only made sense, I also realized that I had accumulated several bags myself. Girlfriends, those bags, were massive!!! Every single time we get hurt we add a bag, or  brick to a bag we are already carrying.

This song is an excellent metaphor for what many of us go through with holding on to habits, behaviors, lies, hurts and the list can really continue. Anything that hinders our spirit and causes us to feel bad, is what I would consider baggage. We carry the bags around, and they are very heavy, uncomfortable. Think about what baggage  is, for example, when you travel, and you have all these bags. Going to the airport, you can get tired, worn out, out of breathe. IT’S HEAVY!! Same thing for emotional baggage. Why would we want to carry anything that hurts and holds us down, until we can't breathe? I sure do not! And neither do you.

 

Girlfriends, when we hold on to baggage it does hurt. I had to think critically about it like this: the people or the thing that hurt me is still functioning and being productive in life. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here hurting bad dragging the baggage everywhere. In my romantics relationships, friendships, at work, and with my family. I had no energy for life. Everything began to be too cumbersome. The bags also begin to weigh heavily on the people around. Then it becomes unfair because now you are affecting innocent people around you. I know for me, I did not notice how it was taken a toll on other persons. How my circumstances would ultimately lead people to have to bail me out, or maybe they just were depressed looking at me and my misery. Whatever the case maybe, those bags were in my way big time.

Truth is a lot of us are not able to face our baggage. Sadly some of us are just in a denial. So then, we mask it and try to hide the baggage, which leads to pretending that we are fine. I remember when one of my attempts at therapy revealed that I was not doing a good job  hiding the bags. See because she was emotionally healthy she could feel my despair. The first thing she told me was I had a presence that was hefty. Not only could she see my bags, they we heavy to her being in my presence. So apparently I wasn't hiding very well. It was disheartening, but a turning point in my life as well. So I am forever grateful for that experience. There is freedom. The first thing is to accept responsibility for your life, exactly where you are. When I begin to do this, I started to be delivered. Now I must warn and say this does not  feel great. Especially when I had to realize I was a messed up individual. I even shudder at it now. We cannot be delivered from the emotional pain and heaviness of the baggage without God. The good news is he has promised to restore us to whole. Girlfriends, you have to believe he will do it! The extra baggage will not falloff overnight, and there is no time limit as to when you have to recover. The truth for many of us is we many fall victim to some of our old habits. My entire healing was a process, and it is a process that is still going on. I am a lot better, a whole lot better.

 

One day all them bags gone get in your way

One day all them bags gone get in your way

I said one day all them bags gone get in your way

One Day all them bags gone get in your way 

The truth about baggage is that it ultimately leads to destruction in areas of our lives when we could be more productive. No two people are the same, so how people deal with baggage could be different. Some behaviors that could be a mask is over/under eating, sexual promiscuity, alcohol or drug abuse, displaced anger or even overspending. The baggage can cause us to lead destructive lives one of the reasons to that it has to be let go. The bags get in your way.

 I found a list on intouch.org that breaks down the issues that arise when we carry around extra baggage in our lives.

 1. A poor self-image. Negative comments can cause us to doubt our value.

2. A defeatist attitude. If we think we're beaten by our circumstances, we'll never try.

3. Feelings of rejection. Being devalued by others is painful and leaves us feeling unworthy.

4. Perfectionism. If we think everything must be done flawlessly, we won't take risks. 

5. A fear of failure. We'll miss excellent opportunities from God if we let anxiety hinder us. 

6. Procrastination. Putting off tasks keeps us from accomplishing our goals. 

7. A lack of self-control. If we can't control our impulses, we're easily persuaded and led off track. 

8. A lack of concentration. When our minds drift, we can't accomplish much.

9. A negative attitude. Pessimism has an adverse impact on our work and relationships. 

10. A suspicious attitude. Being suspicious of others' motives keeps us from accepting love and friendship. 

11. Indecision. The inability to make decisions prevents us from progressing. 

 

I found this list to be a perfect description of what could be the result if we continue to carry different types of baggage around.

For myself, all eleven of these issues were evident in my life. Which ultimately caused me to lose at life. Every area of my life was indeed suffering to the point my physical health and appearance were suffering. I let all types of anxiety and depression just take over my life. I am so happy God rescued me. So happy. Nothing is worth carrying the load of all those bags. Especially when we do not have to. 

"Sometimes the past should be abandoned, yes. Life is a journey, and you can't carry everything with you. Only the usable baggage." ~Ha Jin

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. (Psalms 147:3 NLT)

I had to put what I could not fix before God and beg for his help; then I had to believe that he would help me. When we ask for Gods help, we MUST believe that he will fix it, without our interfering. When Jesus died, he wiped away any sin that would arise, but also the effects of the sin from our harmful past.

But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. (Isaiah 53:5 NLT)

Leave the past behind us and move forward, in other words, drop the bags so you can have your best life. I love to read and write naturally, so I used what I knew and loved to help me heal. It worked. I believe in therapy and group therapy as well. It helps. I figured that these people do not know me so what would be the harm in opening up and trying to some other perspectives. The truth is being alone is not going to help the healing process, we need others around. We need people to pray for us, to talk to us, and keep us encouraged.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. (James 5:16 NLT)

I must admit being obedient to James 5:16, was extremely hard for me, because one of the bags I carried was distrust. I  felt like I could not trust anyone with my issues enough to ask for prayer. Surely I would be judged! The only person I trustis my mother and I did not want her to be even more disappointed in me for things that I suffered with still (which by the way, was a delusional thought. My mom rocks and now I know will help me through any setback). I just  felt like ashamed and embarrassed. I told God that I could not comply with this scripture (funny? Huh?) I was too scared to confess my sins to anyone. My God had a plan for action, and he sent me a group of women to support me through my tough journey. They still are my biggest supporters to date! My good, GREAT girlfriends. When I am weak they are strong, and it goes both ways.

 

I have to admit I have some amazing people that love me. I often felt so alone, but that is an old trick of the enemy, to isolate you and then pounce.....anyway. One critical factor that I know is we have to begin to look at our past and the pain in a different way, once we begin to heal the bags get released and is no longer heavy. The past is not so hard to look back at. As I sit and write today, I can honestly say that some events in my life I am still hurting from. Most of the pain has healed, but what I am confident of today is that God is going to restore me. I know I have to one day believe Roman 8:28 in the whole sense of what the scripture is saying. I believe that it is true, I just struggle with some pain from the past. This pain I cannot see right now how it benefits or helped who I am today, this pain I cannot look back and see it as anything but pain. YET! Being thankful, grateful, and trusting God makes this pain hurt less.

 

Pray! Pray! And pray some more about what is haunting your life. What is it that you cannot release? I challenge you today to line those bags up one by one, and begin to unpack. Lighten your load. Pack Light.

 

Xoxo "Vita"